I converted to using menstrual cups some time ago, now. Have I mentioned it? Only a few times… And yep, I’m still banging on about them. Why? Because they save you cash and they save the environment from being cluttered up with thousands upon thousands of used pads and tampons. I have carried on about them so much that loads of my friends have switched over to them. This may have been purely to shut me up, but I’m okay with that. I’m also not shutting up about them because YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GET ONE if you get periods.

When it comes to menstrual cups, though, I have learned a thing or two. Here’s a few of them that you might want to know if you’re considering a cup. Did I mention that you should totally consider a cup?

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Your Vagina

Gwyneth Paltrow wants you to steam clean it and use it as a rock-holder. She’ll even sell you the rocks! Quack retailers want you to use a ground-up wasp’s nest as a way to clean it. There’s also a variety of sticks you can buy online that claim to cleanse, tighten, revitalise, moisturise and exfoliate if used once a day.

And now, you can buy something that not only makes your vagina ooze glitter but will also make it taste like lollies! What a time to be alive!

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Panty Liners.

You know, those things we are apparently supposed to wear between periods? When I was 19, I worked in a pharmacy. I have a vivid memory of a company rep coming to talk to my boss about putting in a panty liner display. I was standing next to her when he explained that the concept behind panty liner marketing was to make women feel that they needed to wear one everyday, thus creating a constant circle of profit.

A man literally stood there and told two women that his company’s genius lay in convincing women that they needed to buy a product that they didn’t actually need. The idea, he said, was to make women feel that liners would keep them “clean”. That’s why, he explained, the packaging uses words like “fresh”.

2 women pretend to vomit at the idea that panty liners are a necessity Needless to say, my boss chose not to stock that particular product. Despite that, panty liners made their way into the market and loads of women buy into the idea that they need them or use them out of preference.

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I’m not one to stop and marvel over the wonders of biology while menstruating. Some people see it as a spiritual experience or a celebration of their biological femaleness. Some people take the opportunity to create artwork or make political statements by bleeding through their yoga pants. Good for them, I say. Celebrating periods is fine if that’s your thing, but I’m just not that enthused about it. I mean, I can appreciate it in theory but in practice, it doesn’t thrill me. Generally, I have two kinds of periods. Okay periods and not-good ones. Last week, I had a not-good period.

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