I read recently about some pretty interesting health advice being dished out by actor Gwyneth Paltrow on her website, Goop , and was instantly compelled to find out more!

Gwyneth Patrow – Celeb Quack?

It’s not exactly the first time Gwyneth Paltrow has served up fascinatingly bizarre health suggestions.  For example, she advocates colonic irrigation,  a therapy involving a hose, water and your rear end to “flush out toxins”- a practice not supported by evidence that can also have serious adverse outcomes including infection and bowel perforation.

As I continued trawling through Goop, I discovered that Gwyneth Paltrow actually sells her own colon cleanse kit (It’s orally applied, if you were wondering. It’s basically a bunch of fibre supplements, probiotics and a very restricted low calorie per day eating plan) for over $400 USD and endorses a bunch of related “detox diets“, the likes of which have been widely debunked- here’s a few good articles on the subject:

I also learned that Gwyneth is a big fan of  a product called Sex Dust (medical grade, of course) which she uses to make something called Sex Bark. I looked at the Sex Dust  ingredients are and frankly, I’m none the wiser. The bark is a mixture of the Sex Dust, some oils and chocolate things and some stuff I have never heard of. I don’t quite know what it’s for. (Sex substitute? Pre or post sex snack? No idea.)

Turns out that Gwyneth is very spiritual and into feelings and consciousness and souls and tantra. All fine by me, if that’s your bag.

gwyneth paltrow

But one of her latest recommendations really takes the biscuit.

Gwyneth Patrow Presents:

Ladies and gents, the V-Steam.

It’s a steam clean for your lady parts. Apparently, you sit on a “mini-throne” while herb infused steam and and infrared beams that zap around your vagina and (somehow) your uterus to (somehow) balance your hormones and release energies.

Have a look if you’re curious (no nudity):

Reportedly, famous funny man Ricky Gervais tried the controversial treatment:

Naturally, I immediately discussed this with friends.


In another conversation, a friend and I wondered what people might do as a DIY. I mean, these V-Steams aren’t cheap. $50 a pop at the spa Gwynnie recommends! There are various scenarios but we envisaged  some truly awkward (not to mention freaking painful)  steam burns as well as head injuries sustained from low-hung kitchen cabinets while trying to straddle the kettle.

Dangerous stuff.


Another possibility?

Well worth the risk, right? I mean, the spa lists benefits, loads of them. This from their website:




Now, I’m no medical professional, but then, neither is Gwyneth. So I’m pretty comfortable in resisting the (admittedly non-existent) urge to V-Steam because it sounds like a load of crap. Turns out, people who ARE medical professionals think so too. 

Dr Jen Gunter, a board certified OB/GYN who has completed a 5 year OB/GYN residency and a fellowship in infectious diseases and is an expert in vulvovaginal disorders, says the claims made about “balancing hormones” are false and that the steam would not “cleanse” the uterus because it would need an attachment and pressure to actually reach the uterus- and she stresses that that is NOT advisable! She also explains the potential harms of this practice- like potential allergic reactions and messing up your “vaginal ecosystem”. That does not sound like something you want to stuff around with.

Dr Gunter also raises another valid point- the vagina is a self-cleaning organ. It doesn’t need to be steam cleaned. It probably doesn’t even want to be steam cleaned. It’s doing just fine on it’s own- and if it’s not, maybe see a doctor instead of a beauty therapist?

There’s a thought.



Linking with Essentially Jess for IBOT.

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  • Seriously, what planet is Gwyneth on? This really takes the cake. I could think of nothing worse than having red hot steam blown on my vag. Nice try, Gwyn, but I think this idea has fallen flat unless you’re someone like Kim K or any of her LA friends.

  • LydiaCLee

    The only thing I’ve taken away from that is Mugwort. Is that a Harry Potter thing? I don’t want to be all judgy, but there’s a total over fixating thing with vaginas. Can’t we just be happy with what we have? No let’s get surgery, jewel it up, shave it, grow it, steam it….sheesh.

    • Hahahaha are you thinking of muggles and Hogwarts? 🙂

  • Leanne Shea Langdown

    I’ve heard of the V Steam! I think it was on the Kardashians. Which says it all …
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

  • LOL, I can’t get past Tin Man!
    Gwyneth has too much time on her hands. I have enough trouble finding time for a pedi!

    • I couldn’t resist that gif! Remember- don’t try the V Steam at home 😉

  • Yasmine Perkins

    Of all of the supposed medicinal benefits of the V-steam, the only that is possibly true is that it warms the body, everything else is complete BS. Who are these women with all this time and money to spend on steaming their clam? I’d rather spend my $50 on lunch with a girlfriend or pay a cleaner to clean my house. I prefer my vagina unsteamed thanks.

    • Excellent. Let’s take our unsteamed vaginas to lunch ASAP

  • Ha! The Ricky Gervais video was the best part. Oh Gwyneth, you have to love her consistency. In the face of all the mockery over the past few years, she still continues to peddle all of this crazy, expensive, unnecessary wanky stuff!

  • Mandy

    There are two different ways to have a colonic, open and closed, the open method is safe and has no risk of bowel perforation, the closed method is the one people have lots of issues with and is like an extreme enema and I have never heard of someone having a good experience with this method. However as someone with IBS and extreme anxiety I can say an open colonic is amazing, it really helps my body do what it can’t naturally. Some of us a need a little help and so doing a 2 week detox kit a couple of times a week is a life saver.

    Having said that I’m 99.9% certain my jai-nee doesn’t need a steam clean.

    • Even the open method carries the risk of infection. We don’t need to “detox”- the colonic and detox idea is based on a flawed idea that we have all this build up of “toxins” in our bowels etc and that these diets, supplements and irrigations will fix it but it just isn’t the case. I read up on this quite a bit (“research” and a healthy dose of curiousity!) and even with IBS there is no medical benefit to the practice. If you are comfortable with the risks and all – go for it- to each their own.

  • Honestly, is there NOTHING people won’t sell???? x

  • What a nutter! The only reason she is getting away with all this crap is because she is a celebrity. And sadly, because she is a celebrity there will be people out there who actually follow suit.

    • Exactly. If I was running around asking people to steam my vijayjay, I’d get locked up! But totally fine for GP! 😀

  • You have to wonder what people are thinking sometimes don’t you. Who first thought ‘oh let’s put steam up your hoo ha,’ and why?

    • I really am wondering this!

    • It may really be a variation of a really old practice, but that doesn’t justify doing it especially with the scientific knowledge we have today. Some people just have too much money and too much time on their hands.

  • I’m afraid I can’t take anyone who sticks a hose up their bottom seriously. But in saying that I’ve never needed any attention in that area so it may benefit some. I did like Gwynny in Emma but that’s where I stop the adulation. Love your GIFs Amy 🙂

  • I am pretty confused by what people are allowed to claim in ads these days… IT DOES THIS (*it does not do this)….

  • Yeah, my ecosystem’s just fine, thank you very much! How do people fall for stuff like this?
    Love your tin man, Amy!

    • I know! What on earth convinces them they need these “treatments”??

  • She must never do any background research on this stuff blind leading the blind. At least we can say she is entertaining although maybe not in a movie.

  • Grace

    Those photos of Ricky Gervais!!! Crack me up!!
    I wish Gwynnie would just stick to acting. Her *ahems* lifestyle choices are so out of whack, it doesn’t surprise me she’s gone as “hole”istic (geddit??) as a V-steam.

  • TeganMC

    Mugwort sounds like something out of a Harry Potter novel. I really wish celebrities would stop trying to stay relevant by coming out with weird health claims.

    • I know- who do they think they are? Like a few movies qualifies them somehow?

  • OMG I have never heard of a v-steam and watching the video intrigued me! Don’t vaginas self cleanse themselves?! Waste of $50 to me! Thanks for the chuckle and enlightening new knowledge. 🙂

  • Fuck me dead, that woman really needs to come with a big warning tattooed on her forehead! The bullshit she spouts is astounding! And probably dangerous to boot! I’ve never understood the whole detox thing. The body doesn’t need detoxing and you can’t ‘clean it out’ by eating or drinking (or not) anything. The body has it’s own built-in detox system… they’re called liver and kidneys!