Moving house is always kind of hideous. All that packing, shifting, cleaning- not to mention the money! It costs a bomb in terms of cash and effort, no matter what you do. With that in mind, please extend your sympathies as I move house for the 14th time in 18 years, 2 weeks before Christmas, as a full-time shift worker with zero time off. 

This is not my first right-before-Christmas house move. It is my second. And this one, because of my shift patterns, is much worse, timing-wise. My initial idea of burning everything and starting fresh was rejected, for some reason. Instead, we have been slowly sorting out the house, culling all the crap we’ve accumulated and giving the usable stuff to the charity shop.

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Tedious doesn’t begin to describe it. Packing, in short, is a horrendous chore. It’s boring, never-ending and hurts your back after a while. Your house looks like a cardboard-encased war-zone and you are constantly annoyed at yourself for packing stuff you still actually need.

I have been wracking my stress-riddled brain to find a way to make it less horrendous. But, I’ve had an idea.

Gang, I give you *drumroll* Drunk Packing!

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In theory, this seems like the perfect solution. Combining a hated but necessary chore with something fun like a few drinks to take the edge off. What could possibly go wrong?

Pros:

    • You get right in to the music you’ve put on. You sing along and you’re pretty sure that you sound great.
    • Dropping boxes full of breakables is hilarious instead of worrying.
    • You throw out or decide to donate more stuff than you ordinarily would.
    • You have deep and meaningful conversations at the same time. Multitasking!

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  • You can fashion a cool holster for your packing tape gun out of- you guessed it- packing tape!
  • Drinking while packing means sitting in one place (the floor) and having others bring you things to stick in boxes.
  • Several drinks in, people will stop expecting you to actually pack. Winning!
  • Once this has happened, the only thing left to do is nap!

Sounds like a great idea, right? However, there are some small flaws to my plan.

Cons:

    • Potential noise complaints from neighbours who don’t appreciate your musical taste and/or abilities.
    • Broken stuff that may be problematic and/or expensive to replace once you are sober.
    • You can’t legally drive your donations to the charity shop.
    • You’re easily distracted.
    • Making a tape holster, depending on your sobriety levels, can be tricky and see you lying on the floor in a tangle of tape, awaiting rescue.

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  • You have to keep stopping to get another drink or to pee.
  • The other people doing the packing, like your partner, will laugh at you, then become exasperated with you.
  • It’s difficult to put things in boxes if the room is spinning even slightly.
  • You’ll probably make a mess.
  • You’ll get that nap, but afterwards? You’ll never hear the end of it.

For science!

I think I have explored this option thoroughly, in theory. There is still the possibility that drunk packing is a good idea. What’s needed is real research. A case study, at the very least. I am seriously considering putting my liver on the line in this experiment. Selflessly testing the hypothesis for the greater good, to determine whether or not getting slightly sloshed makes packing up a 5 bedroom house any easier or more bearable.

You know, for science.

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Anyone want to mind the kids while I try it out?

 

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  • Oh please make a video of this 🙂 I think it’s a brilliant idea. And I can’t believe that burning it all down and starting again isn’t an acceptable idea. Who knew!? 🙂

  • Oh I am feeling the feels for you today…and in the days ahead for moving. So freaking close to Christmas. I hope Santa knows your new address. Your number of times moving reads a lot like my daughter’s (she has owned twice, rented x ??) and has 4 kids – 3 grown up and a pre-schooler. She is organised but everytime she has to move, I am pretty certain she is OVER it and gets a skip!! We will have to move (at this stage) in August next year. it WAS going to be Feb 2018 but the owners extended it and I am glad as moving in summer sucks and I have my last surgery sometime in Feb. Good luck Amy…I hope drunk packing works for you..maybe! Denyse #teamIBOT

  • Moving sucks balls, especially at Christmas but I think drunk packing makes it almost bearable. Even better invite all your mates around, have a few drinks and hey presto, you have a packing party! Hope the move is quick and painless and that you’ll be very happy in your new home.

  • The pros of drunk packing win! I don’t envy you having to pack and move especially at this time of year but I kind of do envy the enforced decluttering! I’m finding it so hard to declutter my home but you may have found the solution for me. Drunken decluttering! Like you said you get rid of more stuff than you would sober and then you drop and break a few items too (more decluttering!) – it might just work for me!

    Ingrid
    http://www.fabulousandfunlife.blogspot.com.au

  • Kirsty @ My Home Truths

    My God, I’d try anything to make packing more bearable – it’s truly a horrible thing to go through. I feel for you having to do it this Christmas, in between shift work. May the packing and moving gods be with you!

  • That’s a brilliant post. Drunk packing is definitely the way to go and at least at the end of the day you’ve taken away the dreary task and turned it into fun. Who cares if you drop a box or two? Less stuff to move. Happy moving I hope it goes smoothly 8)

  • Lol…drunk packing is something I maybe should have tried last year when I moved. I know it’s a late comment and you’ve moved by now but hope it all went well. Moving sucks!