All the good men, where are you?

I don’t mean the good men that rush the comments in every article detailing yet another sexual assault, yet another rape, yet another woman murdered. Only to proclaim themselves “good men” because “not all men” blah blah blah.

If talking about toxic masculinity in the context of another raped or murdered woman only makes you desperate to distance yourself from those men, you’re not a “good man”. You’re a derailer. The woman who has been harmed or killed means less to you than your own ego. You’re not interested in getting to the core of the problem or bringing about change. Just in letting everyone know that you don’t assault or kill women. You, personally, aren’t responsible. And there are so many of you out there, pleading to distance yourself from those men, that there are now women who’ve taken up your cause. They, like you, forget about the number of women being sexually harassed, stalked, abused, beaten, raped and killed. The literal body count is ignored while they point out the bleeding obvious.

If we are talking about violent men and you, your son, your best mate, your partner or whoever else you have in mind is not a violent man, good! No one is saying otherwise.

But that doesn’t make a man “good” by default. Not being a violent prick is not enough, my dudes. You NOT assaulting, molesting, harassing or murdering people does not earn you the title of “good man” if it stops there. That is nothing but a baseline for civil decency. You don’t get accolades for NOT committing crimes.

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The aftermath of trauma.

This was written by my friend Fiona Yardley. Fiona is many things; artist, poet, mother, partner. And she is a survivor. The #metoo movement has seen many of us share our experiences of sexual harassment, assault and rape. Trump inadvertently kick-started something recently, where survivors shared the reasons they didn’t report their assaults.

Here, Fiona shares how she deals with what she experienced, years later. It’s not always as simple as just moving on. Access to help isn’t as available as we might think or hope it is.

If you have experienced trauma and it’s aftermath, especially from sexual assault or harassment, you might find this a hard read. Or, you might find it a familiar one. No one wishes these kinds of experiences on others. But there is a small comfort in knowing that someone out there understands how you feel.

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The Alternative Therapies in my Newsfeed: A side-effect

There are a lot of things that appear in my news and social feeds that would maybe surprise the people that know me. At first glance, they’d wonder why so much pseudoscience cluttered my socials. Alternative therapies up the wazoo. They’d think “Whoooooo, is their targeting way off! No way is she buying a salt lamp or a crystal water bottle or a bunch of oils!”

via GIPHY

The thing is, when you write about stuff like that, it seems internet algorithms don’t much care if you’re writing about it because it’s woo you want to warn people against. You googled it, you clicked links, you found Facebook and twitter pages. Therefore, you wanna see it! So, for the last little while, I’ve been seeing a petition shared around, asking people to sign to block changes to health fund rebates for alternative therapies. Mainly from alternative therapists, annoyed that their services will no longer be covered.

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