Hot Cross Buns Arrive Early: You’ll be fine, I promise
Hot Cross Buns
Hot cross buns are back on supermarket shelves and I couldn’t be happier about it. Nothing better than a hot cross bun, lightly warmed, dripping butter. I love the traditional fruit but will happily try the newer flavours like chocolate and coffee. Even a brioche variety! Fuck yeah, delightful. I’ve even *gasp* had the plain ones. Butter, jam- yep, 10/10, would eat again. Whats not to like?
But some people are fucking miserable about it. “IT’S ONLY JANUARY OMG!” “MY SUPERMARKET HAD THEM IN DECEMBER!!”
They are so damn angry and it occurred to me recently that, while I never use the expression “first world problems” because it’s kinda mean and reductive, this has to be the ultimate one. A product being available BEFORE you want to buy it has you frothing at the mouth? Hilarious!
Hot Cross Buns should be illegal to sell outside of the month of Easter. It is wayyyyy too early right now 😓
— Mitch McCarron (@MitchMcCarron) January 2, 2019
But EASTER!
Apparently, December/January is not Easterish enough to have the buns available for sale. Hot cross buns are for EASTER ONLY, you guys. Won’t these people be pissed at the little local bakeries that sell them year around? Bloody legends, in my opinion, but obviously an affront to all good Easter celebrators (many of whom, I have discovered, are NOT EVEN RELIGIOUS!) It is, I am given to understand, TRADITION. And we all know traditions are not to be trifled with! THE WORLD IS GOING TO HELL IN A HANDCART!
Hot cross buns before Epiphany? The world really *is* going to hell in a hand cart pic.twitter.com/0bWpusQkMD
— Christina Patterson (@queenchristina_) January 3, 2019
The trouble with traditions
Traditions are just things we do, over and over. We pass them on to the next generation. Grown adults having minor tantrums because “Hot cross buns should only be available in the month of Easter”?! Here’s the thing: That wasn’t always the tradition! They were originally meant to only be eaten at the end of lent. Then, only after lent and at funerals. Before some point in the 14th century, they weren’t even really a thing at all. That’s, what, 14 centuries post the whole birth of Christ things where Easter was hot cross bunless!
We have to remember, traditions evolve. They aren’t static. And having hot cross buns available for a couple of months is not too shabby as an evolution of a tradition!
“But I am still mad about it!”
There is SO MUCH in the world to be mad about. SO. MUCH. I could give you a list. But I won’t. I suggest really examining what is making you mad here. What it boils down to, I bet, is change. Change is as good as a holiday, according to some dingbat who has obviously never been on a cruise through sapphire waters with a 24/7 pizza bar and cocktails as far as the eye can see. Change isn’t as good as a good holiday, most of the time. Resisting change is probably part of the human condition, for all I know. But there is something you can do.
If the availability of hot cross buns in January really has you Shaun Micallef Mad As Hell, stage your own protest by silently (and that part is important) not buying any. Revolutionary, I know. Why silent? Because you’re being kind of a dick about this issue. I know- I, too, have been a dick about it in the past. I decided my dickish and illogical opposition to early hot cross buns didn’t need to be anyone else’s problem. Why should anyone feel embarrassed or bad in anyway because they want to buy a thing that a shop is selling?
And you’ll never guess what happened (yeah, you have probably already guessed)
Because I wasn’t loudly protesting hot cross buns in January, I could quietly examine my feelings, acknowledge that I was being a dick and then, y’know, stop it. There’s nothing wrong with changing your point of view. And once you’ve stopped, you get to decide whether or not you actually want to be a person who buys hot cross buns before the Easter period. And if you do not, that is 100% acceptable and fine.
You can wait til whatever date you deem suitable. Or you can never buy another hot cross bun as long as you live, if you like. You can switch to hot cross bun ice cream, if you want. I have recently learned that that is a thing. What a time to be alive!
Too hot for hot cross buns? Now you can cool down with hot cross bun flavoured ice cream at Woolworths. https://t.co/b3Zic3Eexz #7News pic.twitter.com/4uOw1mpRK8
— 7 News Toowoomba (@7NewsToowoomba) January 4, 2019
“WTF did I just read??”
If you are wondering why you have just read ever so many words about hot cross buns, I’m going to let you in on what this is all really about. I’m pretty sleep-deprived, so a little fuzzy headed, and I have just reread all this and I’m worried you’ll all just think I really like hot cross buns and nothing more. I mean, I TOTALLY do, but that’s not the point.
The point is, the world is a dark and horrifying place if you are a person that pays attention to the news/follows politics/reads the comments/interacts with strangers on Facebook etc. There are a million ways we can all end up feeling down in the dumps, even legit anxious and depressed. I don’t have a perfect solution to any of that, and I’m not suggesting hot cross buns will fix those feels. I do, however, think that maybe letting people enjoy the stuff that doesn’t hurt anyone else is a maybe step in the right direction. Let people find little sparks of joy or pleasant distraction wherever they can.
That’s as close as I have gotten to a New Year’s resolution. So, yeah, you’re welcome, and enjoy the buns if you want to.
