The Thermomix Divide - HandbagMafia

(Taps mic, clears throat)

“Hi, everyone. My name is Amy and I own a thermomix and I’m not in the least bit sorry.”

I know it’s kinda fashionable at the moment to roll ones eyes and shake one’s head at thermomix owners. I also know that owning a thermomix and being a dick aren’t mutually exclusive things. My own research has shown that this kitchen appliance does not actually cause one to become a dick. In fact, evidence suggests that being a dick is likely a pre-existing condition. This is also demonstrated by the fact that non-thermomix owners can be just as dickish as thermomix owners. The appliance is not the cause. This is the first rule of sciencing, guys: Correlation does not equal causation!

The Price Tag.

Yes, I did pay around $2000 for it. This must horrify some people, because every time there is an article or blog post doing the rounds about the thermomix, people comment that they “cannot understand” why people pay so much for an appliance. I could go into a lengthy explanation of how it has saved me money. I could compare other pricey appliances that people buy, like the latest Dyson that will set you back a cool $900 and you’ll still have to push it around while it performs its sole function.

Instead of getting into the nuts and bolts, I’ll just say this: You don’t actually need to understand why people choose to buy stuff. If you don’t understand why someone would spend that amount, you can do one of two things. Look into the appliance; ask people who own them what they like about them or use them for, get to a demo, read reviews. Or, you can continue to live your life without fully comprehending why someone else would spend money on an item you aren’t willing to spend that same amount of money on. You don’t have to question the sanity or otherwise denigrate people who buy stuff you wouldn’t buy.

Screenshot from comments on News.com.au

The “Cult” of Thermomix.

Screenshot from comments on News.com.au

I’m an atheist, not a member of any religion or cult. The thermomix adorning my bench top is a kitchen appliance, not a deity. Liking my thermomix or speaking about the cool stuff I’ve made with it doesn’t mean that I’m in a cult. Implying otherwise is getting kind of old. Sure, some people may seem a little over-zealous. This could be because they just really like what their appliance enables them to do. It doesn’t mean they are manufacturing a preservative-free Kool Aid from scratch, ready to serve it to unsuspecting friends and neighbours. If someone you know is chuffed with their purchase, let them be.

They aren’t hurting anyone by being pleased and if you aren’t a dick about it, they’ll probably make you some jam or invite you over for risotto or something. If someone you don’t know is happy about their purchase, again, let ’em be. Of course, if someone is harassing you to buy one, feel free to tell them to bugger off. Some thermomix owners choose to become consultants that sell them, which is fine, but doesn’t mean they get to be dicks about it all, either.

“Real” Cooking vs. Mush.

Apparently, the food you make in a thermomix doesn’t qualify as “real” cooking. I can only imagine that the people who feel this way are stubbornly sticking to the washboard method to keep their clothes clean because using an automatic washing machine isn’t “real” laundering.

Screenshot from comments on The Australian.

The end result of thermocooking isn’t proper food either. It’s mush suitable for “the toothless or people with their jaws wired”, according to blogger Lana from Sharpest Pencil in this article. Lana says she copped abuse for writing an article about her disappointment with her thermomix. She says thermo-fans called her a bad mother, scammer, terrible cook and other names. This is bad maths, people. Not enjoying a kitchen appliance doesn’t add up to being any of those things. When Lana’s first piece on her thermomix went live, I did see a lot of strangely offended people dishing out scathing remarks. I also saw an awful lot of people offering suggestions and recipes to try. Not because they are thermo-zealots; it seemed pretty clear they were just trying to help. I’m pretty sure I was one of them, because the idea of a $2000 custard-only machine made me feel sad. There are plenty of non-mushy recipes out there; I hope Lana finds one soon!

The Burning Issue.

45 thermomix owners have reportedly suffered burns while using their machines. Were they using them according to the manufacturer’s instructions? I have no idea. Could the manufacturer be at fault? Are they doing anything dodgy? I don’t know, maybe! Certainly seems worth looking into and reminders to be careful and use it as safely as possible are warranted. Is it okay to assume the burns victims are at fault and harshly criticise them online or elsewhere? No, of course it isn’t. Is it okay to use these people’s misfortunes to mock people who also have a thermomix? No! Either way, you’re using injured people to push an agenda. If this is you, on either side, let that sink in. You have an agenda concerning a kitchen appliance.

Can’t We All Just Get Along?

This “debate” seems to ebb and flow. Nothing for a month or two, then a rash of posts from people reminding everyone that they don’t have, need or want a thermomix, followed by the outraged comments from people explaining why they should. In between; a handful of people, thermomixers and non-thermomixers, wondering why anyone cares either way.

Squabbling, side-eye, smuggery, (probably high-waisted) judgy pants and and trolling over a kitchen appliance. Can we just not?! It seems such a senseless division to be a part of. This is, after all, how the terrorists win! So let’s all just opt out of it, right now. Let people cook however they want to, be it in a thermomix or over an open fire with nothing but sharpened stones and sticks for tools. It doesn’t matter, honestly. Take a leaf out of Elsa’s book.