A woman called Emily became heavily involved in the hardcore music scene. She loved the music, going to gigs, travelling with her best friend’s band and being part of the scene. But the hardcore scene was pretty male-dominated and she experienced firsthand things like sexual assault and the way the scene closed ranks around “good guys”. The expression was “good guy, backed hard”, so people making allegations against “good guys” weren’t believed. There was all kinds of sexism in the scene, including expressions like “no clit in the pit” meaning women weren’t welcome in the mosh. She eventually fronted her own band and used her platform to sing about feminist issues.
That’s how it goes, right? At the start of the year, we humans like to make promises to ourselves about how much better we will become. Turning over a new leaf is the plan every year, but various studies and surveys show that we absolutely suck at sticking to the plan. I did some googling extensive scientific research to find the most common resolutions we make, and break, each year.
Instead of making the same impossible resolutions, let’s try to be realistic. Let’s aim for achievable New Year’s resolutions, just for a change!
I would like to think that many, perhaps even most, of us are doing the best we can to be good people. What constitutes a “good person” will vary, of course, but in a general sense it involves some level of kindness, generosity and consciousness. One thing I know for sure about being a good person, though, is that it is not a competition.
In the sometimes magnified world of social media, however, practices like call-outs and pile-ons seem to suggest that other people feel otherwise.