Supermarkets

Supermarket shopping is my least favourite, yet most frequent, kind of shopping. I blame that squarely on other people. If you could book a time to shop alone, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But wait, you say, what about online shopping? You can do it from the comfort and solitude of your own home and don’t have to deal with anybody!

Yes, online shopping is a thing, but then you miss the in-store specials and clearance shelves. And you have to pay for delivery and be at home for the three hour delivery window and sometimes,  it still doesn’t come. Next minute, you’ve been on the phone to customer service 14 times, it’s almost midnight on a Tuesday, you’ve got no groceries and there’s a guy called Kevin offering to waive the delivery fee “next time you shop with us”. Jesus, Kevin, what kind of glutton for punishment do you think I am?

But, I digress.

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Kitchen Items

As a person in need of further kitchen cupboard space, it was with great interest that I perused an article which promised to tell me about 9 kitchen items I could get rid of immediately. I don’t know what I expected, but some of the condescending fuckery I found made me laugh in surprise. So I thought I’d go through the list more thoroughly to see if there was anything we should ditch, based on the article’s advice.

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Dear Friend who is new to multi-level marketing (MLM),

So, you've signed up to sell something. Maybe it's plastic containers, stick-on nails or cosmetics. Whatever it is*, I wish you all the best with it! I will even buy stuff from you, provided it's a product I like. I want to help out my friends and family as much as the next person, after all.

But before you flood my news-feed with special offers or fill up my Instagram with pictures of stuff you'd like to sell me, we should have a chat.

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