Kitchen Items

As a person in need of further kitchen cupboard space, it was with great interest that I perused an article which promised to tell me about 9 kitchen items I could get rid of immediately. I don’t know what I expected, but some of the condescending fuckery I found made me laugh in surprise. So I thought I’d go through the list more thoroughly to see if there was anything we should ditch, based on the article’s advice.

The Thermomix

First on the list? The Thermomix (or equivalent).

The Thermie is one of my most treasured kitchen items. But I should throw out this $2000 appliance because a chef called “Fast Ed” says there is “no reason” to have one. Our daily usage is irrelevant; Ed says thermocooking is a “vacation from real food”. Interestingly, one of the main selling points of thermal cookers is how easy they make it to cut out additives and preservatives from our diets. But I guess we just cook fake food in them, Ed?

Ed also reckons the food is “insipid and uninspiring”, yet many people (including me!) rave about making dishes they’d never have attempted without a thermo cooker.

It’s almost as if Bitter Fast Ed has it feels a little threatened by an appliance…

Should you throw out your Thermomix?

Bread Machines

Full disclosure: I don’t own a bread machine. I don’t need one. I have a Thermomix. However, I have had one and it was great! The smell of fresh bread is hard to beat. But Fast Ed is unimpressed. He says the bread they make is terrible and we should instead support local bakeries. Ed says there is “incredible” bread being baked all over the place. I guess this is true. Our local bakery makes a sandwich loaf that is soft and palatable for up to a full week. Incredible, indeed.

Should you bin your breadmaker?

Electric Salt and Pepper Grinders

Fast Ed said that he “couldn’t believe that such a thing actually existed, or needed to exist”.

Perhaps Fast Ed has never met a person who has a disability that affects their grip. Maybe he’s never met an elderly person or someone with arthritis. When my carpal tunnel was at it’s worst, I couldn’t use a manual grinder to save my scrambled eggs. Some of these electric grinders  even have built in lights, helping people with sight impairments to see their seasonings- awesome! And even without a physical need, these grinders are pretty nifty.

Fast Ed says “This is a product answering a question that does not, and should not, exist” but I reckon he’s being judgy, narrow minded and ableist AF.

Should you throw out your electric salt and pepper grinders?

Mechanical Choppers

A different chef, Nicky Riemer, says these handy little gadgets are “redundant” because we have knives. We should all just learn how to use knives properly. I’m not sure about you, but I can’t lay claim to a chef’s skill. And I have no idea where I’d learn that. Can you YouTube knife lessons? 🤷🏼‍♀️

I don’t actually have a mechanical chopper, because Thermomix. However, I don’t see why these choppers are a bad idea. What if you want to chop a bunch of nuts but down have the patience or the coordination? Choppers seem like a much safer option.

Should you ditch your mechanical chopper?

Plastic Egg Poachers

Riemer reckons it’s “easy” to poach eggs in water in a little vinegar. I can see that this might be the case for her, because she is head chef of a fancy restaurant. For us mere mortals, though, it may be a different story.

Those microwave poachers are actually pretty awesome. But Riemer says we have enough plastic in the world. So, be sure to take your plastic egg poachers and throw them into landfill. Because reasons.

Should you toss your plastic egg poachers?

Roll-up Chopping Boards

“Slippery and unstable”, according to Nicky Riemer. And yes, I agree. They’re unpleasant to use as a primary cutting surface. That said, they’re fine for rolling out dough or chopping something small. I don’t recommend them in place of a good, solid board but they’re better than chopping food up directly on the bench. That’s something!

Should you bin your roll-up chopping boards?

Portable banana containers

Another chef, Kristian Vale, says plastic containers to carry bananas are “unnecessary” and defeat the purpose of the bananas own skin.I say that Kristian has not seen a banana that has spent several days “in it’s own skin” at the bottom of a school bag.

Should you abandon the plastic banana containers?

TV infomercial kitchen gadgets

They’re all redundant and pointless and will break within two months. Apparently, we should just “learn to cook naturally”. *rubs sticks together to light fire*

I’ve not actually tried an infomercial gadget. But I imagine some are useful, or no one would buy them, right?

Should you get rid of your infomercial gadgets?

The Garlic Crusher

Just use a knife because you will leave more garlic in the crusher than you will cook with, apparently. Theres no easy solution, like scooping out and re-crushing, available. Once it’s in there, that’s it. 😳

The garlic crusher isn’t essential, it’s true . I mean, you could just throw garlic cloves into your Thermomix or mechanical chopper, after all. Assuming you haven’t binned them already…

Should you give up your garlic crusher?

So, should you ditch any of this stuff?

You could literally keep anything from this list. Don’t ditch the stuff you like to use because of some random chef’s opinion! Where did this smug condescension over kitchen items even come from?!

If you do have stuff you don’t use, take them to your local op shop. As someone who scored a near-new air fryer last week, I can tell you that someone might really appreciate the things you don’t make use of!

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  • Hugzilla

    I am very relieved that spiralisers weren’t on this list ‘cos I was gonna fuck shit up.

  • I love my chopper! There’s no way I can get it as fine – it’s the only way I manage to enjoy onion in spaghetti without my 5yo trying to pick each individual bit out!

  • Hell would freeze over before got rid of my Thermomix! I even use it to chop garlic, although I still have a garlic crusher for posterity (and when the Thermomix is busy.) Perhaps we should Fast Ed is really Envious Ed, I bet deep down he’s just jealous and really wants a Thermomix too!

    • Same here and I do agree- he’d love one 😉

  • I had a bread cooker once. I got rid of it simply because it was so damn good and we were all getting enormous eating so much bread. Plus I wasn’t looking after the special bread flour stuff and it got weevils. Oh, and then I had no room for it anymore because we got a soda stream, a crock pot and a Nutri Ninja. So we got rid of it. But the smell in the house as we entered was divine.

    I think Ed is feeling threatened by the thermo. I don’t own one but it is probably making him feel inferior. You know, machines taking over the world and all. Clearly he hasn’t had to be a mum and a full time employee and a household manager and a coach and a taxi driver and all those other things that take up all our cooking time.

    • I agree- he’s definitely standing in the thermie’s shadow!

  • Oops I threw out the electric grinders the other day! We never used them, but I can see how handy they would be to others. If I had a thermie I would hold it close and never throw it out. Sigh. #teamIBOT

  • LydiaCLee

    We don’t own ANY of that stuff. How do we even cook???

  • If people are cooking, who is so bloody up themselves that they want to criticize how people are doing it. Let them use the fucking tools they like. Bloody hell. Fake fucking rules and shoulds drive me up the wall.

  • Fi Morrison

    Haha great list! I have only had the privilege of playing with a Thermomix but I must say it is now on my list of things to buy!

  • If you actually use the item then I don’t think you should be chucking it from your kitchen. Anything that makes life faster or easier seems to be dissed these days. Did Fast Ed even write the article?

  • I don’t throw anything out unless it is fucked up beyond actual repair because, as you have eloquently pointed out, someone’s usually gagging for something I no longer need
    . I’ve only ever cleared from my kitchen (to Vinnies) all the blenders and stick blenders my thermomix superceded #thermie4eva

  • This post has reminded me that I used to have a garlic crusher and now I am wondering what I used garlic for as we are not an adventurous eating family. I thought I would not use my stick blender much any more until…I had mouth surgery and it makes the best mashed potato that I can eat. And husband is now in charge of the blender. I bought a slow cooker earlier this year for $30 and cooked a large batch of beef casserole which we are having direct from my stockpile in the freezer. The slow cooker hasnt been used since. My Freezer is something I could not do without but I wish we had outlaid the dough for a frost free one.

    • Yes, me too! the defrosting is not my idea of fun!

  • haha I am a chef and I have to agree that those things aren’t needed. (SORRY) That is not to say that everyone should or wants to go without. I just don’t have them.

    An electric potato masher on the other hand, I could not live without!

    • We don’t need matches when we have sticks to rub together, but I do love the convenience :p