I’m not one to stop and marvel over the wonders of biology while menstruating. Some people see it as a spiritual experience or a celebration of their biological femaleness. Some people take the opportunity to create artwork or make political statements by bleeding through their yoga pants. Good for them, I say. Celebrating periods is fine if that’s your thing, but I’m just not that enthused about it. I mean, I can appreciate it in theory but in practice, it doesn’t thrill me. Generally, I have two kinds of periods. Okay periods and not-good ones. Last week, I had a not-good period.

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Mother’s Day is that one day of the year where mothers endure a range of gifts chosen or made by over-enthusiastic kids or sheepish partners who left it til the last minute to hit the shops and grabbed something wildly inappropriate in their panic. Sometimes, the gifts have thought behind them but don’t exactly hit the present thrill-o-meter. Like the time my Mum complained about the iron, so Dad considerately gifted her a new one. He almost wore it in a very uncomfortable place.

It seems like a gift guide of what NOT to give might be helpful to the gift-giving-challenged among us.

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Late last week, the internet went into a semi-meltdown when non-Americans discovered something baffling about people in the United States: they don’t have kettles. If they want boiling water for a cup of tea, they boil it on the stove or (THE HORROR) they microwave it.

America flag

Obviously, a blanket caveat of #NotAllAmericans needs to be applied. I know, because some Americans do, indeed, own kettles. It seems more common to have the old-fashioned stove-top kettles over there, but still, it’s a kettle, right? However, discussing this with Americans has lead to some startling discoveries (for me, anyway) about small differences between America and Australia that I had no idea about. Here’s some of what I’ve learned, in no particular order:

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Manshoosh!

Manshoosh is a new, natural approach to men’s health and well being. The primary ingredient is a natural amino acid, found in high concentration in the brains of people known to be extremely logical and reasonable; the kind of people that ooze common sense. This amino acid, combined with natural oils, represent a revolutionary product for men.

This product is safe and secure for the user. When applied to a man’s lips, it creates a temporary seal that prevents him from spouting ridiculous ideas about the female body. Our aim is to use technology to improve the lives of men who would otherwise earn the ire of women everywhere for their ignorance and arrogance.

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